2023 is here

Cover ups. Conspiracy theories, Mandela effect. Is it or was it ever? I don’t know. 2018 a portal opened. We all jumped in. Some of us are, and here, for the first time. Did the world flip upside down and am I actually still in California but mentally i’m in New York? Is this a simulation from our Oakland studio? Time jumps. Am I working for a company that specializes simulation conversations to make it all feel mundane? Maybe.

It was foggy and raining yesterday it felt like I was in San Francisco. Today was clear ass blue. The sky was bright and the sun beaming. I feel like my spirit is back in my body for the first time in a long time. Maybe it was that last bong rip. Who knew I needed it? Daniel. Last NYE was a hot dang mess and I had no idea what healthy boundaries were for me. 2022 was a big lesson in that. I think I’m getting the hang of it. I could say no more often. Express how I’m feeling more often. Lead by example more often. I think .. I know I’ve run out of excuses to take better care of myself. I have no one to blame but myself for the stalling. It is very very cliche. But if I am being honest with myself and my own history I should have started taking better care of myself when I was 23 in Santa Maria and the doctor said start takin better care of yourself. Lol. Specifically stop with the beer and the greasy foods and the salt. And what did I do? I didn’t stop and I continued to have stomach pains every time I went overboard. SO slowly and carefully I will lead by example by first leading myself to better more intentional eating habits. I want to reconnect back to my culture and the foods that make up my childhood, the foods I vividly remember eating and anticipating every time we had a family party. The aluminum trays of catered and home made Filipino food that made me so happy. I have 2 cookbooks and a little over a month before we go to the Philippines. I can’t wait to see how this trip changes me and how it deepens my relations.