Follow your impulse…
This phrase/direction has always bothered me. As an actor, this should be automatic - I should know exactly how to move, speak, act as this character in this scene a part of this world. I should know. I should. But I never quite understood what that meant. I’m in the middle of my morning routine today and something came up as I was reading my cards.. the word impulse is for lack of a better word triggering. When I say triggeringI mean, it paralyzes me. Because often times in these situations I am playing characters who come from a world I know nothing about, who are written by playwrights who know nothing about my world, so “follow your impulse” has me hella confused. My body in those spaces does not feel safe. So I freeze and do the good actor thing- make a choice.
It saddens me to see that many of the fox who were fighting the good fight speaking up and advocating for better treatment of performers have reverted back to the pre pandesal of it all. Taking contracts that do not align. What does alignment look like for you? As a performer? Does the company stand by their last minute diversity and equity statement? Are the people behind the table and at the table with you reflective of the communities they are serving? Are you truly valued and compensated properly and fairly for your time and effort? This has me hella thinking. In these spaces where our bodies, our minds, our SPIRITS are being shape shifted!!! Let’s talk about that real quick- performers are shape shifters. We show you an illusion and use our voices and bodies to embody others. So where is the spirit in acting? Where is the acknowledgment of magic… and I don’t mean the “we are magic” booboo woo woo yess that happens the night of opening. I mean where is it. For real. Who does it. If actors are taught to follow their impulse, it is already diminishing the magic that truly lies within. What would it look like to move, work, create from a decolonized or decolonizing bc lets be real nothing is truly decolonized because puti supremacy, the patriarchy, and capitalism is everywhere —- but what would that look like, what would that feel like? Imagine: you’re in a rehearsal room, you are in the middle of a scene and the director stops you, we’ve hit a wall, it’s not working, what would it feel like to hear “follow your intuition” instead of impulse. Can you imagine how that would change the way you thought about characters and acting? Can you imagine what that could do to the world your building. To embody the Spirit and say those words… we are after all a cast, a spell, a prayer. I think back to my Ancestors who traveled through time and space to heal with storytelling. It is medicine. It can be, when we follow our intuition.
